The Beauty Debate: Do Women Really Put Other Women Under Pressure to be ‘Perfect’?

Hi Everyone,

Hope your all feeling fine. I was recently on facebook and a post came up from one of my acquaintances. In it, she was gleaming with pride because her daughter had remarked on a famous star. She had said that she really wanted the star to win the competition because she was beautiful and slim. The mother gushed on about her daughter, blissfully unaware of the statement she had just posted.

It got me thinking about the mother herself and it dawned on me that she does tend to judge women on how they look. I don’t believe she is aware that she does it though; but unfortunately, her lack of awareness in what she says is impacting on her daughter and causing her to have the same narrow and shallow view point about other women as her mother does.

Not that this is unique in any way; sadly, she is like a number of women out there obsessed with how women including themselves should look, brought on largely due to media, air brushing and digital retouching; etc. The problem here is, we are setting ourselves up to fail and every single time too, We are on a quest for unattainable perfection that will never exist and if a woman is looking great, we will still look for a glitch in her armor, which brings me to my next point.

Anne Hathaway Better

I have been reading a few posts about the Oscars as i am always fascinated on what makeup the stars wear and i came across a number of quite negative articles slating Individual stars. Anne Hathaway was the primary target.

Her dress revealed her nipples was one comment from a webazine. The term, Nipplegate was coined. Wow! Does Anne Hathaway have nipples? Someone find me a chair, i need to sit down. Not only that; her dress didn’t suit her skin tone. What! She looked incredible, very classy.

On closer inspection in a video with her wearing this dress, it is the cut of the dress which makes it appear like her nipples.

Another story was centred around Jennifer Aniston. One blogger completely dedicated her post to slating her and how she looked in that red dress and even commented on how her hair has never changed style since Friends. Did it need to? mmmm I don’t think so. Please tell me she looks terrible in that dress because i am not seeing it.

Other reports were made about the other stars at the Oscars. Their hair looked like it hadn’t been styled properly, they hadn’t cared at all about how they looked, they were heavily made up, Renée Zellweger has had work done on her face. All these comments had one thing in common. They all came from women. Not a single man in sight. So why are we doing this?

85th Annual Academy Awards - ArrivalsJennifer+Aniston+Oscars+2013+Valentino+Couture+8

We know that women can be a tad bitchy at times; we like to see the famous beautiful woman have a flaw, this way we can identify with her more because she looks less like the ethereal goddess; and more like ourselves which in turn, makes us feel good about ourselves. We do it with women who aren’t famous too. Instead of championing them for working hard to look great; because it very rarely just happens, (I know i don’t fall out of bed in the morning looking fantastic, i like to call it my abstract Picasso look) we try to make them feel insecure instead. Isn’t this our undoing? With that in mind, my question for the debate is:

Do women stress over how they look because they are put under pressure/ made to feel insecure by other women?  

Nicole+Kidman+Oscars+2013+LWren+Scott+1It is said that the female stars at the Oscars played down the sequins and bold dresses worn last year in favour of a plain dress, so they could avoid a slating in the press. Well done Melissa McCarthy and Nicole Kidman for not giving a @^%$ what others think and believing in yourselves.

Melissa McCarthy

I like to look good for myself, I generally feel good about what i see in the mirror. Yes, i could be slimmer but overall i am confident. Sadly though, i do tend to notice my imperfections more when i am around certain people. Some of my friends obsess about how they look mostly because they have been led to believe they need to keep looking young and slim even though they are getting on a bit. This annoys me for two reasons firstly; because it does rub off on me and secondly; because they sit there and pull themselves apart instead of seeing what is also great and positive in themselves. I must admit, i also find it a bit boring listening to them go on about it.

Some of them have attended botox parties and i am starting to feel slightly pressured into doing it because if my friends don’t have a single line on their faces, i feel i sort of have to conform as well, even though i haven’t succumbed yet and that’s only because botox is quite invasive and i do not completely trust injecting brain freezing poison in my face. I might wait for a kinder more natural alternative to come along.

Tell me what do you think when you read articles/posts were women are taking a swipe at other women? Shouldn’t women support each other a bit more? Is it feeding our insecurities? Are we all going to be having more and more invasive procedures in the future due to growing insecurity brought on by other women who lack self belief? Do you enjoy being around women who self obsess or around women who who have a ‘devil may care’ attitude? I know who i enjoy the company of more! Let me know your view point and i will see you all soon. 😉


  1. March 18, 2013 / 1:45 pm

    Women are definitely each others worst enemy and it shouldn’t be that way! I have friends that will comment on someone else’s size claiming they are “fat” who aren’t any bigger than me. It’s all jealousy in my eyes, as I will only ever dislike someones appearance secretly if I am feeling jealous! But a lot don’t admit to that!

  2. March 18, 2013 / 2:51 pm

    Yes, i agree. It does make us feel insecure though as well, so we try harder and i don’t think its for guys as much but more so we are not critisized by women. Some women think a size 12 is fat so no wonder other women have eating disorders really. I am not so self conscious of my weight so much anymore but i was very much when i was in my early twenties and ironically i was so much slimmer then.

  3. March 28, 2013 / 10:01 pm

    I agree with you. But at the same time I think there is a rationale behind it. First of all, it’s much easier for guys to look good. You put on a suit and… you’re done. No makeup (maybe a little bronzer), no hair issues. Also, men age better. A 50 year old guy can be super sexy. For women getting dressed and ready is much more complicated and complex, hence more chances to mess something up.
    On the other hand, even though I’d like to be supportive towards other women, sometimes I just can’t. For example, some women at work dress so inappropriately and unprofessionally it’s impossible to take them seriously. You don’t see a guy wearing his stretchy leggings to work. I think that’s it: women are criticised more cause they are more noticeable because they can wear so many things while guys, well look pretty much the same.

  4. March 29, 2013 / 12:29 am

    I guess it depends though because in my work place i am expected to wear trousers or skirt and blouse, in other words smart. Some places will not require this and i would love a dress down day where i could go into work in leggings. I think leggings can be worn smartly too. If you wear a lovely tunic with them, then it can change your look. I saw a women with black leggings on and a pair of white knickers underneath them and she was wearing a short top. In any situation this would be very inappropriate.
    I also think men who take care of themselves physically and wear clothes which suit their shape (and believe me, there are many men aware of how they look out there) do actually stand out compared to men who just can’t be bothered or wear washed out clothes.
    Also, i think when some women don’t dress up during the day or for work generally have kids and have very little time to actually make themselves look good. Kids take 90% of a woman’s time up and all my friends who have them, very rarely wear makeup everyday or dress in anything other than leggings or jeans.
    Ask any woman who has young children if they feel sexy, they will all say no but they’ll tell you how knackered they are though haha
    Your right , other than working out, most men can just roll out of bed and throw anything on but i don’t pay much attention to men who do this. I always notice a man who works out, wears nice clothes and wears cologne as well. It just tells me he cares about himself that bit more. With women as you say, there are more complications and external factors too. Money can play a big part in it because women will always want to dress differently daily and that can cost a fair few quid.

  5. November 24, 2013 / 10:48 pm

    In all honesty and as a lesbian, I dont care what most women think of me. If your straight, I don’t want your opinion on how I look.

    • November 25, 2013 / 5:38 pm

      Thanks for your honest opinion. You’re right. We should believe in ourselves enough that it makes no difference what others think.

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